#Authenticity

Being Authentic

I have mentioned before in previous posts that sometimes when I get writer's block, the universe throws something at me. Right now, that something is "authenticity".

Being authentic means that your words and actions reflect who you truly are. And this could potentially mean being vulnerable; who you show up to be may not be who you really are, who you wholly are, who you genuinely are.

Being authentic takes work.

We all want to be liked or loved or accepted, more so now than ever in this world of social media. So much time is spent on how many views, how many likes, how many more than the last post or than our friend's post.

I am a woman in her mid-50s. I am still growing and still evolving. The best part of growing older is the ability reflect on my life, to understand the lessons I have learned, and to accept myself for who I am. I know what I want and I won't settle for less. I'm too frickin' old to settle.

In coaching, I teach people how to recognize and acknowledge their value - and values. Being authentic means living your life on your own terms, by your own values. Walking the walk. Talking the talk. Without apology, and without fear of what other's think.

Finding your authenticity takes work. It requires digging deep to understand your values - what you stand for and what you won't settle for - and figuring out your purpose (IKIGAI). It means ignoring the external noise about what you should do and how or when you should do it, and letting go of that need to "fit in".

With whom are we trying to fit in, anyway, and why do we try so hard?

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to do say something but you are afraid of hurting someone's feelings, or you are afraid of rejection?

• How does holding in your thoughts affect you?

• Is there a pit in your stomach or a lump in your throat?

Do you stay in a toxic relationships because you don't want to be alone?

• We adapt out of fear.

• We adapt in hopes that the other person will change and love us.

Are you aware of any discrepancies between what you do and what you say or think?

• We adapt in order to fit in.

• We sometime say things that are so out of alignment to what we truly believe.

For example, have you ever made a generalization of an entire race based on one bad experience with an individual of that race?

I finally read The Four Agreements. The first agreement is: "Be Impeccable With Your Word". This isn't just to say that words matter, but your words should reflect who you truly are and what you believe.

I often see inspirational and motivational posts from friends who want the social-media-world to believe that this is their belief, but based on their actions (or lack thereof), I know they are not being genuine or authentic.

To become more authentic, let's be consciously aware of the discrepancies between what we say and what we really believe. That would be a great first step.

As we work towards becoming our authentic selves, "our people" will find us. We will find each other.

If you want to become more authentic and get over the fear of what others will think about your authentic self, contact me and we can discuss the pros and cons of working towards who you truly are.