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Writer's pictureJ.Strom Butler

Trapped

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on my website, blog, or LinkedIn.


As a coach, I take pride in helping people uncover their true desires, overcome obstacles, and make progress. Yet, I found myself in an embarrassing situation—I was trapped. Not just for days or weeks, but for many months. And, although I have the skills to help others out of similar situations, I was unable to help myself.


Recognizing that we all face emotional difficulties, I knew it was crucial to be kind to myself. So, I granted myself the grace to dwell in my misery, confident that I would eventually find the resilience and bravery to break free from the mental and emotional confinement I was in.


"Next week", I would tell myself. Before I knew it, it was the weekend.

"I'll start on Monday", I'd promise myself.

Unsurprisingly, another week went by. Weeks turned into months. It seemed endless. I couldn't find my way out of this trap.


Feelings of depression and apathy emerged, making it a struggle to find motivation, to set priorities, or take even a single step forward. The paralysis was overwhelming.

They say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Unfortunately, I formed the habit of binge-watching entire seasons on Netflix, I neglecting everything that made me feel good about myself. It was almost a form of self-sabotage.


Eventually, with the help of friends and strangers, my true self opened the door to this cage in which I was trapped, weary of the monotonous pity-party consuming her mind and heart. My authentic self didn't recognize the self-saboteur that had taken over. It was as if she had gone on a months-long sabbatical, and in her absence, this harshly self-critical, tedious, and apathetic woman moved in, locking the real me out.


So, here I am. Here I emerge; slowly and steadily wriggling and wrangling my way back. Even the smallest steps will eventually lead me to where I want to be. And, where I want to be is back to helping others, beginning with helping myself.


Simply writing this blog has made me feel like I have accomplished something today.


☑️ I will continue to write.

☑️ I will continue to re-engage on LinkedIn and social media.

☑️ I will create a plan that no longer includes my saboteur - I will not hold space in my mind nor heart for her, and I will do that consciously because she is cunning and conniving.

☑️ I will be more deliberate in prioritizing what's important


If you are feeling trapped, know that you are not alone. Remember, you have the strength to conquer this challenge, and you have a community—a tribe, even a village—of people ready and willing to help.


Join me in taking those small steps to reemerge from our self-imposed imprisonment. It begins with ONE. SMALL. STEP.


You might find that it feels incredibly good and inspires you to keep on going.


💜


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